Mom Is ‘Worried’ About Her Son’s Change in Behavior After Marrying His Wife

A mom is concerned that her son has changed since marrying his longtime partner and is blaming his wife.

The woman turned to the popular U.K. forum Mumsnet, wondering in a post if she was being unreasonable for questioning the “concerning dynamics” of her son’s marriage.

While her son has been married for five years, he dated his partner for nine years before they tied the knot. In the post, she provided examples of how she felt slighted and asked if she was being unreasonable.

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“When I call him, he’ll often rush off the phone as soon as his wife comes home from work or starts talking to him,” the user explained. “Sometimes she’ll even answer his phone when he’s not around. When I offer to get him something, he’ll mention what she’d like too, without even asking me if I want to get something for her.”

The mom concluded that her daughter-in-law is behind his behavior. “It feels like she’s dominating the conversation and possibly even controlling him,” she wrote.

She added that her son works overnight, claiming that “I rarely get to talk to him.”

“When I do, he often sounds agitated, even when I ask him simple questions. I’ve tried texting him to check in, but he doesn’t always respond,” the mom detailed. “He’s always been a bit independent, but lately, I’ve felt like he’s becoming more distant. We’ve always been close, but now it feels like I’m struggling to connect with him.”

The mother said she thought her son’s relationship with his wife “had a strong foundation” but reiterated her concerns.

“I’m worried about his well-being and feel like his wife might be isolating him from our family. We’ve always been a close-knit family, and it’s hard for me to see him pulling away,” she wrote. 

The mom said that her son and his younger brother are close, and she is thinking about asking her other son “to check in with him and see if he’s okay.” As she mulled over what to do, she admitted to being “torn between being a concerned mum and respecting their marriage.” 

Users overwhelmingly told the mom she was not only being unreasonable, but also questioned why she was quick to only blame her daughter-in-law.

“Never fails to amaze me who MIL always go straight to it being the wife and never…. Themselves,” a user wrote.

“He doesn’t respond to your messages, gets irritated on the phone and has always been ‘independent’ … in the nicest way I can say this, I don’t think you’re as close as you think you are, and I think he prefers the distance between you,” the poster continued, noting that they doubted the man’s wife suddenly changed her behavior after 14 years.

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The woman responded to commentators who said she needed to respect her son’s independence and let him make his own choices.

“There’s independent [then] there is not even giving your mum 5 minutes of your time. Being married shouldn’t mean I’m treated like just a friend or acquaintance. Married or not a mother should always be a priority in your life,” she wrote.